Updated: May 9, 2020
An unedited excerpt from "You Don't Know Me - I'm in RCMP Witness Protection"
The following is an excerpt from my latest book - it is part of a complete email that can be read among others in a chapter called "Letters to White Shirts" - This particular letter was a cry for help as I struggled through looking back on my years working for the RCMP as a human source.
The letter was written to a good cop who I happen to trust but recognize the bureaucracy he is forced to work within - Tue 2019-07-30 10:06 AM
I know that you are old school and I know that I can trust you to understand this in it's truthfulness. I pray you choose to see no ulterior motives and just listen, taking it at face value.
The trials are now completely at an end. I no longer have to avoid speaking bluntly whilst in fear of hurting a trial or my informants privilege. It has been a long 18 - 19 year grueling ordeal. One that the supreme court has said for all involved is "unprecedented" - even for the defendants.
I have recently completed my third book. If you have ever wrote about yourself and or your past, you would find it dredges up demons that sometimes have been suppressed so long that there is no room left in the pressure cooker to hold them within. I have fought against them, kicked them down and ignored them but every time it comes back to the same thing.
I was a 15 year old boy - a child, and the RCMP cultivated me. I was an eighteen your old man and was well groomed by that time. (it makes sense to me why the force cultivated from the rebellious of the military, RCMP etc) I spent years being directed by the force to do things that were crazy dangerous. As I read my files and look at how many things I was directed to do and now knowing the great lengths of power over me from methods of cultivation - I see many things much different. I think that speaks for itself.
On top of all those demons, those memories, the experiences in SWP, the fight for truth and accountability etc etc - I have now come to the place where these last of hundreds I put in jail are about to be released.
The stress on me and my family is coming to a head and for me personally - well, I am just tired.
In all honesty Eric, writing this to you is because who else could I go to that could even grasp any of what I am saying anyway.
In our last move, the force refused to relocate us to a place that was reasonable to protect our mental health at the very least --------------------------------
Read the rest of the letter and their responses in my upcoming book.