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A LETTER TO FORMER DEPUTY COMMISSIONER MIKE CABANA

An unedited excerpt from "You Don't Know Me - I'm in RCMP Witness Protection"




The following is an excerpt from my latest book - it is an email that can be read among others in a chapter called "Letters to White Shirts" - This particular letter was a cry for help from my daughter as she struggled through understanding being hid away again through no fault of her own.


The letter was written to a good cop who I happen to trust but recognize the bureaucracy he was forced to work within - Sent: March 25, 2014 12:49 PM


READ THE STORY THAT CAUSED THE LETTER AND A TRUE LEADER'S RESPONSE IN MY UPCOMING BOOK - YOU DON'T KNOW ME - I'M IN RCMP WITNESS PROTECTION


(No subject) Christine­ Tue 2014-03-25 12:49 PM To: p.derry@live.ca <p.derry@live.ca> > Hey dad, if you could maybe forward this to Mike it would be great thanx!

Mike, I'm sorry to bother you but i really dont feel comfortable talking to the people here and i know that my father trusts you. I have things eating away at me about this situation and its affecting my sleep at night. I'm a very passive person unlike my father lol. I feel it is what it is and i tend to let things be, but lately i feel like that part of my personality is being taken advantage of and ive never experienced that feeling from the years ive been in this program. Ive always felt as if you guys have been really looking out for my best interest. Ive always understood the things that were decided and why no matter how difficult the situation was on me i understood. Now i know you've been around my father since ive been born so i dent need to explain how he is to you lol but him and i are extremely close which should be expected considering hes all ive ever really had there for me. Now i dont blame anyone or point fingers im not that type of person but when i was 15 i had to leave any and all of my family whether or not they were bad for me or not they were my family. my mother, my brother, grandmothers, and grandfather which i understood it was voluntary and it was my choice to be with my father, I also know that i should never have had to make that choice had people done their job a little more carefully but it is what it is and its made me a better person. now a similar situation has come up and i was put in the position to choose again between what is considered safety and my family. now again i understand that it is voluntary and my choice. My big concern is i just want to know how this decision was made? why am i being torn from my family again? it was not anyone i was around or living with that caused the threat so im unaware of why it is i have to be separated once again. My father is all ive had left since the first incident and all my children know or have as a father type figure, as well as his kids. my children have never really been apart from them. Im not looking to change the agreement, im not looking to get anyone in trouble. i just want to understand if this is a dig at my dad that she thinks she could have stern type tones and manipulate and twist what i say into what it is that i said i wanted...im just confused. i was told this agreement was based on conversations ive had with them but from what i recall ive only ever said that i didnt want the same last name and i didn't want to live in the same house as him. Now again im not looking for you to do anything about this i just need to have a better understanding, this woman has little digs at me knowing that ill just let things be because of my personality, shes called me a liar to my father when thats hardly the case. Lately a lot of the things that have been going on is disappointing to me that this is the kind of things they do. i find that innocent people should not be manipulated or disrespected nor should i ever feel like these people are doing me any favors. I just want to get through this. One thing i cant stand is someone treating me unequal. Now this one person has mind boggled me so much. i would not want her protecting my children but yet thats what ive been having to do. i want to raise my children believing that police are their to protect them and have compassion and respect and lately i feel as if i couldn't teach them that because im starting not to believe it myself. i just wish to know what kind of picture did these people paint towards the higher authority that makes them believe in any way that my father and i should be separated and when people like this go home at night how do they feel knowing they've torn apart an entire family and caused so much hurt. Last few days my father has not been sleeping and when its brought up that im not going with him nor are his grandchildren i see tears in his eyes. Do these people think that its just work or do they really realize how serious it really is to do that to a family. In my opinion if you tear apart a family and then come the next day and say so you happy with the agreement and smile at me. Then that person has no idea what has just taken place and no compassion nor should they have a job that deals with situations like that. You can take this anyway you want i just wanted you to see the side from a child that has had to grow up through the protection of you guys and the feelings that go through my head as i have to go through it again. You can email me back through my dad or you can email me directly Thank you for taking the time to read this, if anything i just needed to tell someone how i was feeling that was willing to listen so thanks again Christine


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