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It seems like such a distant memory in some ways yet in others it is clear enough in my mind to still remember the tastes and smells of summer. I certainly remember the first day I was asked by an RCMP officer if I would rat on my friend.

I was a little rebellious back then, smoking pot and drinking - but still playing hockey with starry eyes looking toward a career in the NHL or becoming a lawyer. (No doubt, my favorite player was Ken Dryden) On the flip-side, I was reading mafia books and dreaming about the life they glorified in telling their stories - I did not put two and two together to realize that the books were all people who had become rats.

When that Mountie stuck his hand out with a $20 bill and said "just tell us where Kevin's stash is in his house and this is yours" - my mind raced for a second but then I told him and off I went.

One transaction that would lead me to realizing there was a lot of benefit not realizing it would change my life forever. I was addicted to finding information and there was no shortage of $20 dollar bills with kudos attached each time I passed on more information and watched as another target went down.

I would go on for another year or so after that before I was in jail - it is hard to get the next mark unless you stay connected - the Mounties needed criminals to catch criminals. Jail would be the catalyst to me becoming a more experienced criminal. It also offered a base of connections that would help me for the next twenty years as a source, informant and agent for Canada's National Police force.

I was not old enough to shave but I was old enough to take down targets - who would have thought my life would go on to be so filled with drama, danger and demons?

Not me that's for sure!


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